we're back!

chalet was well...hmm..sorry to say but it really wasnt the best i had. but i was definitely enjoyable.

the thing is...i dont quite feel very relaxed during/after it. my brain is filled with OP. didnt really tell anyone much during the chalet cause that'd be such a wet blanket. :X it's subconsciously reminding me. lol.

anyway, i finally got close to a cat, stroke it and actually enjoyed it. thinks that'd be the only cat i wouldnt be afraid of. had that cat not come and circle me, honestly, i doubt i'd be that close to it. gahh, i miss clish now. yea, we named her. :) wonders how she's doing...:(

anyway, this chalet was kinda short. and i didnt get to do alot of stuff i wanted to do. sigh.
infact, the onli things i got to do was play mahjong. and...omg, that's all. -.-

i have to admit, mahjong is fun but there are alot more stuff i wanted to do but didnt. guess that's maybe why i didnt find it all extremely enjoyable, just ok.

and it's not because of the cockroaches or millipedes or lizards(yes, there were that many insects and reptiles there-.-) it's just...like there's something missing. i duno how to explain it. OH WELL, it is our first class chalet afterall, it'd get better next year(if we do have one) im sure. :))

i reached hm today, took the laptop up the bed and slpt off while waiting for hitman to load. GAHH. and slpt all the way till 10pm. that's abt 8hrs of slp. assuming i slpt off at ard 2pm as shown by my status update. lol. and i must say, im a pig.

LOL, i mean, i feel sleepy already. XD. ok, not sleepy but just feel like lying down and everything.

i know what's freaking missing already. the BEACH. i havent touched any sand, any sea at all!! :(( and bicycle. was too tired for night cycling. but day cycling would have been nice. and i wonder when will be the next time i get to go to the beach. sigh.

OP on wednesday, OGL interview on thursday. THEN, IM GONNA MUG. right. at least until someone dates me out.

i wanna watch 2012, cloudy, new moon. actually i didnt think of cloudy at first but chloe's "I WANNA WATCH MEATBALLS AND SPAGHETTI FALLING ON ME!" made me think oh wow, that'd be pretty cool. haha. 3D. hmm..(:

and i didnt take much photos. cause
1) the lighting in the chalet rm sucks
2) im busy playing
3) too tired/lazy to take
4) we're all over the place, it's hard to take subjects.

so i duno if i shd upload that 27 photos on fb not. it's mostly just testing out the lighting, white balance, macro, etc. onli one or two that shd be posted since i anticipate comments for it. XD

basically, im just too tired. i duno why but i feel shag. thinks because we havent got much to do as compared to the previous weeks on tortures so the lethargicness sets in.

okok, im talking crap already. shall go attempt to sleep/watch hitman/...i duno what.

ja ne~



heyho

finally, the long awaited class chalet is tmr! seriously, im trying not to get too excited or my hopes up too high or i'll end up disappointed. afterall, this IS the FIRST 1709 class chalet. thou i've had chalet with yuggy and yt. and played mj with yt b4. haha.

gotta go pack my bag for it. will be bringing my usual chalet bag which mum kinda spoilt it when she brought it to malaysia-.-

is there any things i have to bring specifically? i know extra set of clothe is a must. wont be going to the pool right? so you guys won't have a chance to push me in. =p. but there'll still be the sea. SHIT, what am i saying. NOTHING~ lalala. anyway, bringing mahjong set(it's antique so please treat it with care) and mahjong paper(it's new can use as much as you want, not very keen on lugging it home. LOL)

should i bring mats and sleeping bag? nah, too much to carry. but if u really want, i can bring it. ((: oh and chips..haven buy yet.

OH GOD, i told you im wayy too excited for it.

and there's still OP tmr, cannot be too excited. OH AND

I CAN GET MY CLASS TEE TONIGHT!!! WOOTS. the tailor rocks man, she'd rush it out so that i can get it by tonight. HHAHA. so i can wear it tmr. who else is wearing it? im wondering if i should wear it to school or go home change then wear to chalet. hmm...

oh and i found out today, i still get that weird feeling when i present to mr chua. it's liek that time chinese oral. peng san. never mind, he'd probably nto be the examinor on the actual day anyway. oh and, my voice very sing song meh...and that Q&A answer was OK WHAT. it's in the wr lor...:((

wadeva, hope tmr's OP will be ok. mrs yong will be there. my pronounciation...:X gotta practise tonight.

plans for tonight:
1. finish watching hitman episode 56
2. Collect class tee from tailor
3. Pack bag for chalet
4. See if i can add anymore stuff into i&r
5. Print I&R & Cover page
6. Practise OP.
7. SLEEP

yay. (:

tag replies:
chloe: yea! haha. it censors all the 'vulgarities' including ass. ((: my blog is so 'innocent' XD
RS: SURE. HEEH. i do need someone to be there to like stop me from stoning. haha. =p



somehow...that feeling is still there especially when i'm reminded of it.

this morning's meeting with vp was..ok. i mean, it's the usual yada yada~ but somehow, i feel kinda worried after that. =/ oh wells. and i signed up for a course to "unleash my powers to succeed" haha. actually i didnt want to go for it. but it's by adam khoo(is this how u spell it?) and his talks are usually damm ex but this time we've only got to pay 10 bucks. so might as well. moreover i like listening/reading inspirational/motivational stories. hence u see my msn display name and what nots, always those encouraging words. haha. it's on the 16th nov. kinda rang a bell when i heard it, thought i had something on then i realised oh, it's rs's sec sch chalet. see la, her pm keeps showing 14th-16th nov such that nw that two dates are imprinted into my brain. lol

actually, it's even more stressful to face this at home. i know she's concerned and worried and everything but i really hope she'll let it go and stop talking about it. i've already told her "i know what to do and i dun want to talk about it anymore". she says "ok" but continues going on abt it. and so what if other ppl dun have to attend that lecture. yes, they scored better. SO? i'd rather see it now as more room for me to improve than to think ah...why did i not do as well as others. cause there's nothing i can do to change the results. so might as well look ahead and make that leap of improvement? i think i can do it. so please dont waiver my thoughts by saying too much. really. (great, she wont even read this, who am i speaking to. LOL)

moving on, we got our class tee today. like finally. BUT. it's FREAKING HUGE. as in EXTREMLY EXTREMLY HUGE. you can ask xx and rs. i woke it in the canteen today and told them "look! i can fly!" cause the sleeves are like WOAH. hopes nobody saw me in the canteen and think im a looney. :X im kinda disappointed. cause i've been anticipating it for so long. hopefully it can be altered. i always have to pay extra charges. or rather my parents pay for it. but still. sigh. and hopefully it can be altered by friday. or i'll be the odd one out not wearing it in class. boohoo.

speaking abt class, im very excited for class chalet. esp after all these stress and worries and what nots. i NEED a place to escape. a place to NOT think of these things, a place to play mahjong 24/7, play cards, play games, just play and eat and play and eat. LOL.

oh and people, at the chalet, we gotta drown each other with water. cause we have OP after the chalet! and ms ying said in her reply: shouldnt you guys be celebrating AFTER OP. haha. i guess so but when we booked the chalet, we didnt even know OP was right after it. oh well. haha. just must make sure i dun dun drink water. i tend to be a cactus or camel, i dun drink much. :X haha. so you guys can feel free to remind me/force me to drink. i dont wanna have a sorethroat(CHOY) after the chalet. esp after preparing so hard for OP. haha. :)

and lastly...i wanna say this. small actions, small talks or even just a message really shows your care and concern.

leaf, thanks for speaking over msn.
rock, thanks for sms-ing and asking me abt it.
yingtai, you know, when u're not suaning(which u actually dont do very badly as compared to some other ppl actually), you are very nice. i dun find your concerns fake. thank you for leaving a tag.

tada. yes, i sound like i've sorted it all out and what nots. but i guess not. sigh. i'd just mug my ass off(anyone want to accompany me and mayb..push me along. lol) this hols. suddenly, nov and dec seems too short. =/

p.s. presenting to mr chua tmr. hope he doesnt kill us with his questions. and dun give us that look that will make me laugh for no reason. seriously, he almost killed me during chinese oral can.-.-

p.p.s. 1709, check out class blog frequently, i will be updating details on tutor's reply to our invitations/ updates on stuff. (: (somehow i kinda like to do this things. LOL. care rep? HEEH. XD)

AND, I WANNA WATCH NEW MOON. it's out on the 3rd dec. actually my cousin booked me ready but i'll only be back from overseas on the 6th so she might be going ahead with her friends first. anyone else wanna book me for it??? HEEH.

ja~
Janice (:

tag replies:
Iat: haha, glad u're excited for chalet! (: i know i've tried my best. that's the reason why i feel depressed. put in so much work but the results like that. mum...oh well..



最近好烦。今天想用华文blog因为有点emo的事想说。而且华文，不只能够表达这种感觉，也不是每个人能读。算是一种谜语吧。

为什么烦？考试过了，wr交了，应该没什么好烦的了。但是。。。我觉得自己好失败。明天我得见vp.我知道不只我一个人。而且我是及格的。只是不太理想。其实，我不喜欢这种什么间vp，见家长的。因为我是一个自己明白，自己在哪错了，应该怎么做。别人越是告诉我“你好多用工多努力哦，明年会更辛苦“，我越是不想读书了。因为这些我心智杜鸣啊！为什么要一直，一次又一次地谈起这件事。好烦啊。而且，我不知道应该什么告诉妈，因为是她叫我起床的，明天要早起，原因呢？

总而言之，我这个人，人家越是唠叨，我越是要唱反调。所以，可不可以别再来烦我。。

真的觉得自己好失败，什么多做不成。什么都做不好。你说，我有什么事做得好的？以前体育不理想，但成绩好，也就罢了。现在，体育马马虎虎，成绩又这样，我真是觉得自己好失败好失败。为什么人家能够做到但我不能。我一次又一次的被TJ的prgs reject. 报名什么都进不了，最大的成就就是赢了乒乓比赛。要不然，我在这学校里什么课外的东西都没学到都没做到。不是我不把握机会，而是，我根本就不行。还是。。。我不知道啦。反正，一次又一次的被拒绝的感受好难过。这次TIP连面试都没进。是。。我的成绩没比别人的好，但是连面试都没进？嗨。。 真的觉得好沮伤，好。。。有一种难以形容的痛苦，的苦闷，的悲伤。

有时我问自己，为什么明明心里那么烦，那么不开心但在大家面前还是个笑着，说无聊话，逗人开心的人呢？我知道了。因为， 我这个人有什么都是自己扛，自己解决。我不喜欢因为我emo害得大家都跟我不开心或担心我。其实，大家会有这样的感觉吗？还是我其实只是想洋葱一样，只是调味品，却把自己想得是主菜之一。

是不是我太不自量力了。可能如果我希望不抱得太高，失望就不会太大。但是我没希望很高啊，只是想进一个，就一个prg这个要求很高么？我好想逃避，好想一睡不醒。但是还是等到OP过了再说吧。不要因为我而连累了全组。

今晚有日本课，我每次都忘了。。。希望学一学日语会让我别想太多了吧。

没有话能真正的表达我现在的心情。。。

失落的慧贤。



yo!
hahahaha, we're back to english/japanese. as much as i LOVE CHINESE, i dont want to have to take it again next year. next year must be solely focus on BCME and GP. ((: and when i said i LOVE CHINESE, im NOT being sarcastic. i really do love chinese, i mean, it's the easiest subject to score in and im fluent in it so why not. (: and all chinese teachers love me. XD

so yep, the paper is over. wanna know which qn i did? qn3. took quite a long time to decide. until my brain finally shouted at myself "GOD DAMMIT, MAKE A DECISION, YOU DONT HAVE TIME ALREADY" lol. cause all the qns made me go "HUH..." esp qn 4. no idea how to go abt it. so there u have it, qn3. and yes, i wrote heartfelt story, almost made me cry. almost. at least i could already feel my nose sour while writing. it was abt grandma. ah, it never fails to make me cry. :( oh well, hope there's just the right amount of feelings in it and i didnt go off course. :)

remembered clearly for chinese Os, halfway thru letter writing then i realised i was writing to a wrong target audience. but i managed to twist it back somehow.lol

speaking abt target audience, i got my i&r back like FINALLY. thinks i dun need to give her another draft. she probably doesnt want another draft anyway. so i shall either do it tonight or some other day. depends. but i gotta compile the Q&A first. im so kind, the choir girls will reach hm late, glen has training so i took it up. and gave half to perry. =p. but i'm compiling it! hehe.

actually, i like typing on the com. LOL. if not for the fact that i want to slp and have to do chem tut, i'd take everything. HAHA. and NO, that doesn't mean u guys can give me all the typing to do nxt time. thou i doubt there'll be a nxt time. NEXT WEEK, IT'D ALL COME TO AN END. HEE.

oh and xx said "during PW CHALET" we wanted to kill her man. "PW CHALET" no way im going for a pw chalet. hahahaha. and im serious abt giving onli 1min of chalet time to pw. HAHA. okok..she'll kill me if she sees this. but i realli dun want it to take up too much time. chalet IS a time for relaxing. (:

and oh, mayb i shd go learn guitar from my brother. MAYBE. :)

oh and i found out today that bee.c and i can gossip alot. HEE. and hy, OMG, she knows SO MUCH. it's actually quite scary when u come to think of it. i mean, she's not those loud type in class so the fact that she knows so much gossip is just OMG. a combi of shifu's stalking skills and lao niang's eavesdropping skills. haha. and i also found out that i still prefer subway's hearty italian to parmesan and meltz to chicken&bacon. (: I LOVE BACON. hahahahah. thinks im rather high now. laughed too much just now. haha. (:

oh and i also found out that SUSSANAH(pls tell me if this is it. and whether or not u're ok with it. if u strongly object then i wont use it. (:)'s hit on the back is rather hard. or rather, i'm rather hollow inside. haha. but it's ok. (: and poor bee.c twisted her back and shoulder. hope it's better now (:

ok, gtg. type out the Q&A stuff. i'm actually feeling kinda sleepy already. lol

p.s. updates on chalet:
BBQ is on saturday(i just found out ystd=p)
Mrs Chua is not coming
ALL TJ STAFF have year end dinner on our BBQ night
Mr Chua will drop by after 9pm on sat. maybe with a cake. :D(seriously, he's like da best tutor ever man)

ja ne~
Janice :)

oh and found out janice's a very nice name. we found out meanings of names in Broaders just now. before we got chased out by some woman who said we should not be doing hw there. HELLO, we were reading, not doing hw-.-

tag reply:
Glen: LOL. hope the results will turn out fine for everyone. (: